I had often wondered how some people
just seem to have it all together. These people are good at communicating,
energizing and motivating others. It is something we truly cannot define, but
some people just have it. It’s called charisma. Natural charisma could lose its
impact especially when you add familiarity.
However, some people are remarkably
charismatic. They cultivate and maintain great relationships, consistently and
positively influencing the people around them; making them feel better about
themselves and as such everyone wants to be around them.
Charisma tends to increase your chances
of being successful in any area of your life. Science has been fascinated by
the concept and found that charisma is a quality everyone can develop; not necessarily an inborn trait.
By examining the traits that
charismatic people exhibit, we can certainly grow to become charismatic
ourselves.
According to Ronald Riggio PhD, professor of leadership and organizational
psychology at Claremont McKenna College, Charisma has three main ingredients:
·
Expressiveness – A knack for striking up
conversations spontaneously and easily conveying feelings.
·
Control – The ability to fine-tune your
persona to fit the mood and social makeup of any group.
·
Sensitivity – A gift for listening.
Here
are 10 typical traits that we know can be found in charismatic people:
1. Confidence
There is a certain confidence that
charismatic people exude. According to the Harvard Business review, confidence
can be so alluring that people are willing to trust anyone who expresses it.
Researchers have noted that showing confidence is more dominant in
establishing trust than past performance. Charismatic people literally light up
a room with confidence when they walk in.
2. They
are attentive and listen to others
Charismatic individuals know how to
make people feel valued. People like to be around them because of
this. This is because they’ve trained themselves to be attentive to people whom
they interact with.
Simple habits like asking questions,
maintaining eye contact, smiling, responsiveness, verbal or nonverbal cues, are
some of the things they do actively. It’s not surprising that studies
have found that eye contact heavily influences likability,
trustworthiness, and attractiveness. Listening shows that they care a lot more
than offering advice.
“Charisma is not just saying hello. It’s dropping what you’re doing to
say hello.” – Robert Brault
3. They’re
passionate and show it
Charismatic people tend to be quite
passionate about what they believe in. This passion motivates people around
them to act.
Behavioural Science has shown that
strong emotions can be contagious. A prominent researcher in this area, Dr.
Elaine Hatfield, has conducted several studies showing how people “grab” the
emotions of others.
For example, if you have a friend who
is always critical about everyone, you’ll soon find yourself to be critical of
other people. Likewise, being around someone who’s passionate and optimistic is
likely to inspire you to think and behave that way also.
4. They
are approachable
Charismatic people are often seen as
warm and approachable. Most people would rather get to trust and get closer to
you if they perceive you to be warm.
According to Dr. Robert Zajonic, facial
muscles contract to produce a smile that allows for increased blood flows to
the brain which lowers the brain temperature and produces feelings of pleasure
and happiness.
Studies have also shown that
smiling is linked to how approachable and competent someone is. You want to
hone your charismatic skills, then smile.
5. No
self importance
Charismatic people have no bone of
self-importance in their bodies. They are simple, easily relatable, with
no airs.
This doesn’t mean they are not
knowledgeable. In fact, they know quite a lot, and are kind in dispensing the
information that they have. The only people that can be impressed by self-
importance are those who are pretentious, and act self-important also.
6. They
have a cause
Throughout the 20th century,
sociologist Max Weber’s study of charisma says that a charismatic person has a
clear vision for the future and boldly advances towards it. They are people who
talk about ideas that are bigger than themselves.
An example of this kind of person would
be the late Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, who on recruiting Pepsi CEO John
Sculley, pointedly asked if he wanted to sell sugared water for the rest of his
life, or if he wanted a chance to change the world?
7. Genuine
interest in others
Confident and charismatic people
usually prefer to shine the spotlight on others. They motivate people. Telling
others how much of a good job they’ve been doing is essential.
Not only will people who are drawn to
you appreciate your praise, but they will also appreciate the fact that you pay
attention to what they’re doing. It brings a sense of accomplishment to them.
Then they’ll feel a little more accomplished and more important.
In other words, they give credit where
credit is due. If they are recognized for a success, they shower the praises on
everyone else and empower people without expecting anything in return.
Conversely, if anything goes wrong, they aren’t afraid to take the blame.
“There is no better friendship booster than the ability to listen. The
ability to show genuine interest in others an admirable quality of a true
friend.” – Phil Callaway
8. Belief
in themselves
Even though people have doubts about
what they are doing and their abilities, charismatic people
don’t allow those doubts to influence their interactions with
people whom they motivate.
9. They
encourage self disclosure
Charismatic people ask insightful
questions which make others share things about themselves. Studies from
Harvard researchers prove that sharing information about ourselves impacts
our brains.
It’s also confirmed that our brains are
literally wired to enjoy sharing information about ourselves. Being charismatic
is less about you and more about how you make others feel.
10. They
are generous
According to Professor Grant at the
Wharton school of business, there are three types of people; the taker, the matcher
and the giver. Charismatic people are givers and altruistic. They give without looking for anything in return.
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