Here’s something we can all agree on: Life is hard. And if this
wasn’t enough, caring about other people’s opinion only makes it harder. You
have a good job but you’re too scared to run your own business. You have a good
relationship with your partner, but you’re too scared to get married. And you
live an interesting life but you’re too scared to share it on social media.
In other words, fear is taking over your life. The problem is that changing
your perspective isn’t easy. But here’s the big secret…You can unlearn your
previous beliefs and adopt new ones that will help set you free from your
fears.
It won’t be easy but if you’re hungry for
positive change, here are the four agreements based on the book “The Four Agreements”
by Don Miguel Ruiz you’ll need to make with yourself:
1. Always Be True To Your
Word
Do you know the power of your
word? Most people don’t stop to appreciate the power they possess in their
word. Your word has the power to kill millions of people or to change someone’s
life forever. Think back when Martin Luther King managed to change millions of
lives with his “I Have A Dream” speech.
The problem is most people fail
to use the power of their word, or worse they use it to unintentionally hurt
others. However, the trick is to say only what you truly mean. Don’t speak
badly about yourself or others. And speak about truth and love.
Negative feedback can act as
poison to other people. Start taking the power of your word seriously by
speaking only positive things. Instead of gossiping behind your co-worker’s back, try to say
positive things or don’t say anything at all.
“Folks are usually
about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” – Abraham Lincoln
2. Free Yourself from
People’s Ideas
Chances are that other people’s
words closely relate to your own perception. So what happens? You believe your
friend who calls you ugly when you’re having a bad hair day. You believe your
boss who states you’re an incompetent worker when you’re experiencing a bad
breakup. And you believe your family when they provide you with many reasons of
why you won’t be able to run a successful business.
The list goes on and on. Repeat
this for years and it’s no wonder why you take other people’s criticism
personally. What you have to understand is that other people’s opinions aren’t
about you, it’s a reflection of themselves. For example, if someone tells you
that you’ll never launch a successful business it’s screaming what they believe
is possible.
You shouldn’t even take your
own comments personally. Sometimes your own words cause self-inflicting damage.
So what’s the solution? Start by listing your beliefs that make you fearful or
unhappy. Then work on your smallest beliefs and begin replacing them with
positive beliefs.
3. Stop Making Assumptions about
Everything
Be bold and ask questions. The
next time someone explains something to you, repeat what they’ve said to
confirm if their statement was correct. Rinse and repeat until you’re confident
that you understand the other person. Will it be easy? Of course not. There
will be times when you’ll be scared to ask questions or people will look
annoyed. However, you can’t let fear hold you back.
Here are the two questions to
ask yourself when you’re facing tough times: 1. If today was my last day would
this problem be significant? 2. How do you want to live? Be curious and become confident
in asking questions so you’ll never have to assume anything.
“Happiness is not
something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama XIV
4. Consistently Do Your Best
Don’t strive to be perfect,
strive to do your best. You’ll regret more the chances we didn’t take vs the times
you’ve failed. If you’re always performing at your best you’ll be less likely
to feel disappointed. Your best will vary from time to time but as long as
you’re always putting your best effort you’ll be at peace.
Why does this work? As humans,
we punish ourselves multiple times for a single mistake. That’s because we tend
to live in the future or past replaying old mistakes and punishing ourselves
further. By always doing our best you eliminate the possibility for regret and
self-judgment. Don’t forget to do your best with the little things as well.
Here’s what I mean: The moment
you wake put your best effort to make your bed. When you’re feeling off, put
your best effort going to go to the gym to lift weights. Stop waiting for those
rare days when you wake up feeling amazing. Get up each morning with the intent
to do your best at everything you do!
Start Living A Happy Life
Picture this, it’s 5 am and
you’re starting your morning ritual. At the end of your ritual, you’re ready to
have an amazing day despite it being Monday. But that’s not all. You’ve found
the courage to leave your job to go all in with your business. You’ve found the
courage to get married and take your relationship to the next level. You’ve
even found the courage to share silly pictures of yourself on social media.
Life is good. Most people wish
for these types of day, but not you. Ever since you’ve adopted these 4
agreements your life has transformed for the better. You’re no longer a victim
to what happens in your life.
Amazing isn’t it? This can be
your reality if you begin adopting these agreements into your life today.
You’ve only got one life to live, are you going to let fear hold you back from
being happy?
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