I
remember the day in vivid detail. I was on a weekend trip visiting my
girlfriend at the time in Arizona. She had decided that we should join her
friends to go “cliff jumping.” We were early on in our dating and she
obviously had no idea that I was not fond of heights. So “cliffs” and jumping
off of them… No thanks!
I
inevitably found myself on the edge of a 40-foot cliff peering down at a vast
blue canvas of water. Then I realized if I didn’t jump, I’d have to start the
walk of shame back down the cliff. This was a lose-lose situation for me.
Fear
had me. I didn’t want to jump, but I also didn’t want to look bad in front of
my girlfriend’s friends. So I jumped and in that moment, I had defied my brain
and my neurochemistry.
Our
brains are wired to protect us, not to push us
towards our goals. Our brains are wired to look for anything
that could be potentially dangerous or threatening and keep us as far away from
it as possible by using fear. The problem is not all situations warrant fear.
There
is a saying in neuroscience that says, “the brain wires the way it fires”,
meaning the more you do a certain activity, the more the brain lays down wiring
to make that action or activity easier.
‘Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.’
– Karl Augustus Menninger
When
we let fear keep us stagnant and we continue to do the same things that are
comfortable, our brain gets “hardwired” to stay comfortable. We become
“stagnant.” This can become debilitating for some of us and prevent us from
encountering the very experiences we need to grow and succeed.
When
we, in spite of our fear, do the challenging things that are outside our
comfort zone, we begin to hardwire into our brain change, adaptability,
creativity, growth, perspective, and happiness because we stretch the
boundaries of our brain’s capabilities and force it to adapt rather than
“playing it safe.”
An
elite athlete didn’t make it where they are today by going into their training
and never pushing past their comfort zone. They constantly pushed their limits
of comfort to force their bodies and minds to grow to that of a top performer.
The same principle applies to our brains. If we let fear dictate our actions in
any area of our lives, it will stunt your growth in that area.
So what’s the
first step? How do we go about conquering our fears whether it’s public
speaking, starting a business, or launching the product or service? See below:
1. Journal Your
Fears
Write
down all the fears you have, big or small. Contrary to opinion “size does not
matter.” Your brain still operates the same
with all types of fear. The key is to first acknowledge what
you are fearful about and bring it to light. Be as specific as possible.
2. Prioritize
Your Fears
I
then rank my fears from highest to lowest in terms of how often I think about
this fear and/or how much it disrupts my life. You may find some fears combine
into a broader category and that’s ok — we’ll get to that. So for now identify
your biggest fear.
3. Support Your
Belief in Yourself
I
don’t mean just “believe in yourself.” What I mean is to build in support
systems that will
support your belief in yourself, so that when you start
taking action, your support systems will solidify those new experiences and
form deeper, more meaningful, and lasting beliefs in yourself.
It
may look like building a list of affirmations that you say every morning or a
meditation. Whatever it is, it needs to be uplifting and empowering you towards
conquering your goals.
4. Take Action
& Start Small
Look
at your list and identify what your biggest fear is. That’s the beast we’re
going to tackle long term, but for some that may seem like a big stretch at
first. So instead, see what your 5th biggest fear is, and that’s where you’ll
start.
What
we will then do is build our way up and take a ride on the “Momentum Train.”
Starting small with taking actions toward your lower priority fears and then
building up helps your brain build momentum, which provides your brain with
plenty of courage and motivation to tackle the #1 fear on your list.
‘Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The
fearful are caught as often as the bold.’ – Helen Keller
5. No Time
Limit, Just Consistency
Most
goals should be limited to a time domain. For the goal of tackling a fear, time
can be a challenging factor to set. Some of these fears may have been
unknowingly building up for decades without your knowledge. So I don’t
recommend setting a time on when you are “going to conquer your fear.”
Instead
set appointments to regularly meet and address your fear. If you’re fear is
public speaking, then go to a local Toastmasters once a week. The more
consistent you can be, the better.
6. Reframe and
Reinforce
As
you begin to address these fears, make sure you are
reinforcing the experiences you have in a positive perspective.
For instance, if you want to be less fearful of public speaking and decide to
try out a local toastmasters group, your first time speaking to the group might
feel like a train wreck, but when you look back on the situation you can
acknowledge that that actually pushed past your fear and accomplished your
goal.
7. Rinse and
Repeat
This
isn’t a quick fix. It may take some time. There’s always a new fear or
challenge awaiting us. The key is to have systems like this in place to address
those challenges properly rather than allowing ourselves to succumb to fear and
derail our lives from their fullest potential.
Kindly Note : All ideas and materials presented
herein are for informational and educational purposes only, and is not intended
for commercial or trading purposes. Neither does it mean to misguide anyone.
Kindly make informed decisions on your own risk. Neither
livettcelearn.blogspot.in website nor any of its owner shall be liable for any
errors or delays in the content or for any actions taken in reliance thereon.
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